oh the pain

As u may or may not know, I dont get much sleep, mostly due to a fair dose of Chronic pain. But even when I do sleep.....it isnt restful sleep. Its more like the kind where your half awake and can hear everything, and cant get comfortable to save your life. Then when you do awake, you feel even more tired then when you went to sleep. How can this be, Waking up to more pain, and feeling even more exhausted than when you went to bed??? I will tell you. Its due to this lovelly condition that they now are calling Fibromyalgia. For as long as I can remeber I have been in pain, my first memories are as far back as 6 years old. And for that same distance back, I can also remember having Dr.s telling me I was fine, then whispering to my mother that it was all in my head. Yah, that helped.

So here I am now, many years later, in so much pain, that most days I would like to be unconcious. Having spent about the past 6 months bed ridden, Im have a great distain for the bed now. I hate it , loath it, despise its existense. But what to do