So here goes, and here is wishing myself luck!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Book It
ok, so Im convinced, that I must write a book. I have 2 ideas for 2 seperate books. Who would want to read what I have to say you ask???? Dont know. My main goal in writing these books will be to get it out of me, a therapy per say. N if it happens to touch one persons life, and helps them, then great!!! But yes, I am convinced, with all the happenings going on in my little life that I need to write this book, get it down, and get it out, in order for some healing to begin. Sure some people are not going to be happy about the topics of the books. But folks, let me tell you, this is one girl, who has thought what other people thought of her, as WAY too important, for WAY too long. I have managed to keep secrets, and be quite at everyone elses requests. But now, Im thinken that is pretty selfish of them, of anyone, to ask of another person to do.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
oh the pain
As u may or may not know, I dont get much sleep, mostly due to a fair dose of Chronic pain. But even when I do sleep.....it isnt restful sleep. Its more like the kind where your half awake and can hear everything, and cant get comfortable to save your life. Then when you do awake, you feel even more tired then when you went to sleep. How can this be, Waking up to more pain, and feeling even more exhausted than when you went to bed??? I will tell you. Its due to this lovelly condition that they now are calling Fibromyalgia. For as long as I can remeber I have been in pain, my first memories are as far back as 6 years old. And for that same distance back, I can also remember having Dr.s telling me I was fine, then whispering to my mother that it was all in my head. Yah, that helped.
So here I am now, many years later, in so much pain, that most days I would like to be unconcious. Having spent about the past 6 months bed ridden, Im have a great distain for the bed now. I hate it , loath it, despise its existense. But what to do
Saturday, March 21, 2009
We have Puppies! But what about Sleep?
From time to time, I have-what I like to refer to as a FLARE UP. It is when my whole body hurts, hurts so bad that all I want to do is stay in bed and try to sleep. But here is the dichotomy- I CANT Sleep when I have a flare up! Argg, what to do.
So this past week I have been having a flare up and wouldn't you know it, I had posted a add a few days before this episode started for one of my dogs. So when I was answering the many responses and setting up appointments, I was feeling pretty normal. (tongue in cheek cause normal is what most people would call being in alot of pain and just generally feeling lousy!) SO I had rescheduled one appointment until Friday-on the hopes that I would get some sleep the night before, or even morning before, and just push my way through the travel and drop off of said dog. Oh , but wait, did I mention that my plans were foiled, as does usually happen when you have a great number of people and pets living in the same household. So what usually happens is that I make apologies, have to re reschedule, or cancel until further notice, and usually end up looking like some what of a flake to others.
Well, Lola, our Pug, decides at 7 pm last night to go into labor. Me, thinking to myself, hmmm, did she do this on purpose, does she have some cosmic power that wants to taunt me when I'm not feeling well. So... Ok, I think, I can do this, it usually only last just a few quick hours, then I can sleep after, or some time shortly after I get her and her new brood settled. But AH HA! Once again, jokes on me! I was up and down, in and out, to and fro, all night with her until 4:30 am. With a few complications, of course, but I wont go into those now. So after I cleaned her up, cleaned up the puppy bed, did the laundry that needed to be done so that the other dogs didn't go crazy on a mad search and destroy mission for that smell, and washed myself up, my alarm went off! DANG! Ok, I will get some sleep when I take her to school and the boys will still be asleep. Once again, my plans are foiled-are you seeing a pattern here?Ok, I think, plans change, I am like a great tree that bends with the wind, I shall over come.
Little girl doesn't want to go to school, she wants to stay with her doggie and babies before she leaves for a week. Ah, so cute, ok, I tell her she can stay. SO she wants every detail, wants to talk, then snuggles up in my bed and goes back to sleep. Ahhhh, I lay down, YES, I am going to get some sleep before my appointment. My mind wont stop thinking, NOOOOO! The new babies need help with nursing, and one of them in a dog gone noisy little bugger. So after that is all done, I try again to sleep, and as you guessed by now-it didn't happen. Ok, so I will just jump online real quick to post some photos and up date my face book as I have had lots of my friends asking about Lola. Then I check my email, reply to a bunch of add combers looking at my adds, and before I know it I have to get in the shower to go to my appointment and also drop my daughter off at our friends house back in Boring.
Less details now, I'm tired, its 1 in the morning, and I think I am verging on crazy. I'm not , and I say NOT, a type of person who can go with out regular sleep. Just ask my mom, she lived with my since birth, and I can get a bit crabby and sorta wacko if I don't get my sleep. I think we all can. But for me, it is just a little extra helping. LOL, sooooo...... I am going back to my room, stuffing ear plugs in my ears ( puppy nursery is in our room and they squeak ALOT!) taking a sleeping pill, and gona try to sleep. The big gun pills, the sleeping pills my Dr gave me, don't usually work on me when I am having a flare up. So, Im saying so alot here, any way, I'm gona try to sleep. Dear LOrd, help me sleep! I would prefer to stay on this side of crazy and not cross the thresh hold into insanity tonight, thank you, and amen!
So this past week I have been having a flare up and wouldn't you know it, I had posted a add a few days before this episode started for one of my dogs. So when I was answering the many responses and setting up appointments, I was feeling pretty normal. (tongue in cheek cause normal is what most people would call being in alot of pain and just generally feeling lousy!) SO I had rescheduled one appointment until Friday-on the hopes that I would get some sleep the night before, or even morning before, and just push my way through the travel and drop off of said dog. Oh , but wait, did I mention that my plans were foiled, as does usually happen when you have a great number of people and pets living in the same household. So what usually happens is that I make apologies, have to re reschedule, or cancel until further notice, and usually end up looking like some what of a flake to others.
Well, Lola, our Pug, decides at 7 pm last night to go into labor. Me, thinking to myself, hmmm, did she do this on purpose, does she have some cosmic power that wants to taunt me when I'm not feeling well. So... Ok, I think, I can do this, it usually only last just a few quick hours, then I can sleep after, or some time shortly after I get her and her new brood settled. But AH HA! Once again, jokes on me! I was up and down, in and out, to and fro, all night with her until 4:30 am. With a few complications, of course, but I wont go into those now. So after I cleaned her up, cleaned up the puppy bed, did the laundry that needed to be done so that the other dogs didn't go crazy on a mad search and destroy mission for that smell, and washed myself up, my alarm went off! DANG! Ok, I will get some sleep when I take her to school and the boys will still be asleep. Once again, my plans are foiled-are you seeing a pattern here?Ok, I think, plans change, I am like a great tree that bends with the wind, I shall over come.
Little girl doesn't want to go to school, she wants to stay with her doggie and babies before she leaves for a week. Ah, so cute, ok, I tell her she can stay. SO she wants every detail, wants to talk, then snuggles up in my bed and goes back to sleep. Ahhhh, I lay down, YES, I am going to get some sleep before my appointment. My mind wont stop thinking, NOOOOO! The new babies need help with nursing, and one of them in a dog gone noisy little bugger. So after that is all done, I try again to sleep, and as you guessed by now-it didn't happen. Ok, so I will just jump online real quick to post some photos and up date my face book as I have had lots of my friends asking about Lola. Then I check my email, reply to a bunch of add combers looking at my adds, and before I know it I have to get in the shower to go to my appointment and also drop my daughter off at our friends house back in Boring.
Less details now, I'm tired, its 1 in the morning, and I think I am verging on crazy. I'm not , and I say NOT, a type of person who can go with out regular sleep. Just ask my mom, she lived with my since birth, and I can get a bit crabby and sorta wacko if I don't get my sleep. I think we all can. But for me, it is just a little extra helping. LOL, sooooo...... I am going back to my room, stuffing ear plugs in my ears ( puppy nursery is in our room and they squeak ALOT!) taking a sleeping pill, and gona try to sleep. The big gun pills, the sleeping pills my Dr gave me, don't usually work on me when I am having a flare up. So, Im saying so alot here, any way, I'm gona try to sleep. Dear LOrd, help me sleep! I would prefer to stay on this side of crazy and not cross the thresh hold into insanity tonight, thank you, and amen!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sensory issues- a post my good friend wrote- this is soooo Me and my 2 boys! Fun s ville
This is a disorder that both of my youngest children share. Hubby and I are discovering the many new therapies for “Sensational” children. Kristyn Crows' article below is helping us provide a wonderful way of describing our children’s uniqueness to our friends and family.Imagine you are a child and the sweater your mother dressed you in feels like sandpaper chafing your skin. The sensation of the threads rubbing across your arms is so irritating; you can barely concentrate on anything else. You grunt and whine in frustration, trying to convey your feelings, but you can't put them into words that make sense. You throw a tantrum, and finally your mother removes your sweater. Then she casually turns on the dishwasher. The buzzing of the motor rings terribly loud in your ears. You run into the corner of the room, covering your head and moaning. All the other family members go about their business, unaffected. Your mother, confused as to what the problem is, tries to comfort you, but her hand touching your skin sends a shock through your system. You push her away.Later, as you go outside to play, your brain doesn't properly "predict" when the next step should come in contact with your foot, and you stumble and fall. Blood trickles down your leg, but you don't even notice.Get the picture? Life is incredibly frustrating for a child with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. It is sometimes referred to as Dysfunction in Sensory Integration, or DSI, and it means that the child's brain does not properly process information provided by the senses.We've been taught that there are five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. However, in reality there are several others, including these senses suggested by Dr. A. Jean Ayres, O.T.R., and Ph.D.:The tactile sense which involves the sensations of our skin from head to toe, involving perceptions of hot and cold, and whether we are actively touching something or being actively touched by something else. It involves the recognition of shapes, textures, and sizes of objects in our environment. It helps us distinguish between threatening and non-threatening touch.The vestibular sense which provides information using the inner ear about balance and movement, and where our body "is" in space, for example, how the size of our body relates to the sizes of other objects.The proprioceptive sense which gives us information using the muscles and joints in our bodies about where our body parts are at any given time and how they "connect" with the objects they use.When the brain "misreads" the information from these and our other senses, things go haywire. We find Sensory Integration Dysfunction (DSI) in with ADD/ADHD, Asperser’s Syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, pervasive development disorder, and other conditions where brain chemistry or structure is atypical. However, we are still trying to uncover the precise cause.Since children with DSI can't "get over" the condition, they often develop coping strategies to help them feel safe. These strategies might include ritualized routines (because the unexpected event might trigger a frustrating sensory reaction), preferring small enclosed spaces where things are quiet and predictable, or over-focusing on the senses which feel pleasurable, like fiddling with strings or curling up in a ball.What signs should I look for in my child if I am suspicious of DSI?Here are a few examples of behaviors you might observe in a child with DSI. Your child could have many, or just a few of these:
Frequently misjudges the distances between objects.
Inappropriate reactions to things that would be ordinary to other children: overreacts to small things, and under-reacts to important things (her own injury, oblivious to traffic, etc.).
Fidgets, seems to be "in his own world" and can't focus.
Has a bad sense of timing and rhythm.
Is generally clumsy, and may slouch and tire easily.
Flaps his hands or engages in peculiar body movements.
Is easily frustrated and emotional.
Responds slowly to instructions and may seem overwhelmed by them.
May have trouble waking or sleeping.
Has difficulty stopping one activity and starting another.
Is agitated by certain textures touching her skin, or certain clothing frustrates her.
May seem bothered by sounds, bright lights, crowds, or chaotic events.What can be done what-is-your-childs-sensitivity-profile"Learning about your childs specific sensitivity profile can help you to determine what teaching techniques will work best for your child. Gather information about what types of stimuli affect him in particular ways. This can be immensely helpful. There are various kinds of therapies which have proven helpful. For a fabulous book on this disorder, read Carol Stock Kranowitz's book, The Out-of-Sync Child. Carol Kranowitz is a preschool teacher who developed an innovative program to help screen children for the disorder. She has also written, Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun which contains numerous activities to DSI kids to the confusing sensory information around them. Article created by Kristyn Crow
Frequently misjudges the distances between objects.
Inappropriate reactions to things that would be ordinary to other children: overreacts to small things, and under-reacts to important things (her own injury, oblivious to traffic, etc.).
Fidgets, seems to be "in his own world" and can't focus.
Has a bad sense of timing and rhythm.
Is generally clumsy, and may slouch and tire easily.
Flaps his hands or engages in peculiar body movements.
Is easily frustrated and emotional.
Responds slowly to instructions and may seem overwhelmed by them.
May have trouble waking or sleeping.
Has difficulty stopping one activity and starting another.
Is agitated by certain textures touching her skin, or certain clothing frustrates her.
May seem bothered by sounds, bright lights, crowds, or chaotic events.What can be done what-is-your-childs-sensitivity-profile"Learning about your childs specific sensitivity profile can help you to determine what teaching techniques will work best for your child. Gather information about what types of stimuli affect him in particular ways. This can be immensely helpful. There are various kinds of therapies which have proven helpful. For a fabulous book on this disorder, read Carol Stock Kranowitz's book, The Out-of-Sync Child. Carol Kranowitz is a preschool teacher who developed an innovative program to help screen children for the disorder. She has also written, Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun which contains numerous activities to DSI kids to the confusing sensory information around them. Article created by Kristyn Crow
Monday, January 19, 2009
My girl, my doll, my sweet pea
Ok, so she is just the most awesome person I know! So much so that her old friends from where we lived, beg to have her for a few days when the schools have a holiday or such. I have to say though, I am getting a bit more stingy with her and don't want to lend her out as much. She is just so danged awesome to be around, talk to, do hair with, listen and sing music with, everything! I adore this little chicky!
But you know, I'm sure you all can say the same about your girls too(but I still think she is the bee's knee's)
But you know, I'm sure you all can say the same about your girls too(but I still think she is the bee's knee's)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
So how happy was your new year?
As I am sitting here watching sex and the city, I am reminded by how completely awesome my dear friend is. She is loaning me the complete series, which I have only ever watched a few shows of, but completely adored. I just cant help but think of her now every time I watch this show.
Last night, by happy accident I was invited to accompany her as a guest in their new years festivities. At first I was a bit apprehensive, not in a bad way mind you, more of a will I be too much of a boar for everyone to be able to roll with these fabulous people. But low and behold I had the best new years ever people!
Thanks to all who atteneded, I COMPLETELLY enjoyed everyone.
Last night, by happy accident I was invited to accompany her as a guest in their new years festivities. At first I was a bit apprehensive, not in a bad way mind you, more of a will I be too much of a boar for everyone to be able to roll with these fabulous people. But low and behold I had the best new years ever people!
Thanks to all who atteneded, I COMPLETELLY enjoyed everyone.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Stay home mom- HA- as i cackle like a crazy person all the way home!
I agree with the person who said "what Idiot coined the phrase stay at home mom". Seriously people, there are days when I see my "home" less than I care too. I home school, (and I use the term home loosely, chuckle- because a large part of it is done in the real world). I have 3 different jobs- in which someone sees fit to pay me for my expertise and time, and full time job hear at home, 5 small dogs that we breed, a home church to attend 2 times a week, volunteer at our Community center to help less fortunate, and tend to be a home body type of person- or at least I thought I was.
I teach a class of 3 year olds every Tue. morning, which I adore! I usually have 12-15 children in my class, mostly boys and it last 2 hours. I took this spot because I knew it was the hardest for the Church to fill.
I also teach Sunday School at another church on Sundays, that job is 5 hours long. It is a really great bunch of high needs-special needs kido's ranging in age from 5 -12. Each one is very unique and requires extra special attention. I just found out from the head pastor-whom I really enjoy and can see myself becoming good friends with- that she is asking the congregation to have one volunteer each week to come help me in the class room- GOD BLESS HER!
I also teach at a new daycare here in town and will be working a good full day, 3 to 4 days a week and cant wait to start! Tomorrow is my first day. With our snow here, we didn't go anywhere last week and my first day has been postponed till tomorrow. So we will see who that goes and I will keep everyone posted. I feel very comfortable there, really enjoy my new boss-she too is a instant person that I felt connected too. My Mom has been gently encouraging me to stop in to this center since its time of conception in Sept. However, for me, the timing wasn't right yet, and I have learned to listen to that still small voice. Back in September we had just moved back to our home town, was still unpacking our household of 5, setting up schooling for each child. Getting the fence situated to keep in our 3 dogs-at the time- we now have 5, two of whom are the pups of my 2 females. Getting situated in a new church, getting re familiarized with our now grown town. Setting up time for our certifier to come and do a home visit to re-certify us as a adoptive home, and just needed to get my barrings. I knew that I was to go there and meet the new director of the child center, but I needed to be sure the timing was right for me.
So few weeks ago I sent her a casual email introducing myself, and got a quick response call to go meet her! I have since found out that everything in our lives are so intricately connected in ways that we cannot possibly imagine. Again, the old saying "its a small world" really is true. Guess saying like that don't stick around for as long as they do if they don't hold water.
I always thought of myself as a homebody, but in fact, I think that I tend to keep myself very very busy inside and out of the home. I have worked the whole 14 years that I have been a "stay home mom", but always sold myself short and just told people that yes, I was a stay home mommy. I don't think that there has ever been a time in my parenting where I haven't had one or two jobs inside or outside of the home that helped to provide for our family. My hubby teases me and say that I am the hardest working woman he knows. I think that he is the hard worker. He has very hard hours, works in all kinds of difficult weather, works long hours, and still comes home and is a loving husband and great dad. Don't get me wrong-we are not perfect, on the contrary- we are very real people. But all in all, I think that we are just your average couple who struggle to pay the bills, and try to sneak moments of joy into the schedule.
Like just now, my teen boy just let off a balloon helicopter off over my head, I ducked as I wasn't sure where it was to land. All part of a average day here at the Monaclan. Oh yah, he just told me, "hey mom, this toy blows, haha, get it, it Blows!" God can only know how much love I have for these little wholagens! Ps, I know I am a terrible speller and my form is not correct, so save your breath, I never claimed to be a copy writer, lol!
I teach a class of 3 year olds every Tue. morning, which I adore! I usually have 12-15 children in my class, mostly boys and it last 2 hours. I took this spot because I knew it was the hardest for the Church to fill.
I also teach Sunday School at another church on Sundays, that job is 5 hours long. It is a really great bunch of high needs-special needs kido's ranging in age from 5 -12. Each one is very unique and requires extra special attention. I just found out from the head pastor-whom I really enjoy and can see myself becoming good friends with- that she is asking the congregation to have one volunteer each week to come help me in the class room- GOD BLESS HER!
I also teach at a new daycare here in town and will be working a good full day, 3 to 4 days a week and cant wait to start! Tomorrow is my first day. With our snow here, we didn't go anywhere last week and my first day has been postponed till tomorrow. So we will see who that goes and I will keep everyone posted. I feel very comfortable there, really enjoy my new boss-she too is a instant person that I felt connected too. My Mom has been gently encouraging me to stop in to this center since its time of conception in Sept. However, for me, the timing wasn't right yet, and I have learned to listen to that still small voice. Back in September we had just moved back to our home town, was still unpacking our household of 5, setting up schooling for each child. Getting the fence situated to keep in our 3 dogs-at the time- we now have 5, two of whom are the pups of my 2 females. Getting situated in a new church, getting re familiarized with our now grown town. Setting up time for our certifier to come and do a home visit to re-certify us as a adoptive home, and just needed to get my barrings. I knew that I was to go there and meet the new director of the child center, but I needed to be sure the timing was right for me.
So few weeks ago I sent her a casual email introducing myself, and got a quick response call to go meet her! I have since found out that everything in our lives are so intricately connected in ways that we cannot possibly imagine. Again, the old saying "its a small world" really is true. Guess saying like that don't stick around for as long as they do if they don't hold water.
I always thought of myself as a homebody, but in fact, I think that I tend to keep myself very very busy inside and out of the home. I have worked the whole 14 years that I have been a "stay home mom", but always sold myself short and just told people that yes, I was a stay home mommy. I don't think that there has ever been a time in my parenting where I haven't had one or two jobs inside or outside of the home that helped to provide for our family. My hubby teases me and say that I am the hardest working woman he knows. I think that he is the hard worker. He has very hard hours, works in all kinds of difficult weather, works long hours, and still comes home and is a loving husband and great dad. Don't get me wrong-we are not perfect, on the contrary- we are very real people. But all in all, I think that we are just your average couple who struggle to pay the bills, and try to sneak moments of joy into the schedule.
Like just now, my teen boy just let off a balloon helicopter off over my head, I ducked as I wasn't sure where it was to land. All part of a average day here at the Monaclan. Oh yah, he just told me, "hey mom, this toy blows, haha, get it, it Blows!" God can only know how much love I have for these little wholagens! Ps, I know I am a terrible speller and my form is not correct, so save your breath, I never claimed to be a copy writer, lol!
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