Book It

ok, so Im convinced, that I must write a book. I have 2 ideas for 2 seperate books. Who would want to read what I have to say you ask???? Dont know. My main goal in writing these books will be to get it out of me, a therapy per say. N if it happens to touch one persons life, and helps them, then great!!! But yes, I am convinced, with all the happenings going on in my little life that I need to write this book, get it down, and get it out, in order for some healing to begin. Sure some people are not going to be happy about the topics of the books. But folks, let me tell you, this is one girl, who has thought what other people thought of her, as WAY too important, for WAY too long. I have managed to keep secrets, and be quite at everyone elses requests. But now, Im thinken that is pretty selfish of them, of anyone, to ask of another person to do.

So here goes, and here is wishing myself luck!

oh the pain

As u may or may not know, I dont get much sleep, mostly due to a fair dose of Chronic pain. But even when I do sleep.....it isnt restful sleep. Its more like the kind where your half awake and can hear everything, and cant get comfortable to save your life. Then when you do awake, you feel even more tired then when you went to sleep. How can this be, Waking up to more pain, and feeling even more exhausted than when you went to bed??? I will tell you. Its due to this lovelly condition that they now are calling Fibromyalgia. For as long as I can remeber I have been in pain, my first memories are as far back as 6 years old. And for that same distance back, I can also remember having Dr.s telling me I was fine, then whispering to my mother that it was all in my head. Yah, that helped.

So here I am now, many years later, in so much pain, that most days I would like to be unconcious. Having spent about the past 6 months bed ridden, Im have a great distain for the bed now. I hate it , loath it, despise its existense. But what to do